(the post has been brought to you by lack of sleep and a tabloid news article)
If hearing a positive experience of someone else leaves you feeling pressure, guilt, attacked or belittled…this means you need to reflect on yourself. It does not mean that person is bragging.
Why does the positive, rejoicement, celebrating ways of another offend you so much?
Why is it ‘bragging’? and who are ‘you’ to decide what someone can and can’t celebrate?
Positive stories are ESSENTIAL. And a positive birth is not ‘lucky’.
Women who have positive births talk about feeling respected, involved, a part of the experience…no matter what the ‘type’ of birth.
“if a woman doesn’t look like a goddess during labour, someone isn’t treating her right” (Ina May Gaskin)
Well prepared women (with an informed birth map) are more likely to ‘brag’ about their experience.
I have a wish, a simple wish.
I wish that all women felt like bragging about their birth.
If you find yourself feeling down when you hear other’s celebrating their positive experience, you can seek a ‘debrief’ of your feelings with a doula. There are many doulas that offer this service to women when they are considering a subsequent pregnancy or are newly pregnant. The joy of another should not leave you feeling bereaved, annoyed or angry. If you have feelings like this, direct your energy not at the joy, but at the source of your feelings. This may be unresolved feelings of a previous birth, or it may be fears or concerns you have about birth.
It is not a competitive sport. It is an incredibly important life event.