I will not be the first to draw comparison between wedding planning and birth planning.
The amount of money and time that gets spent on wedding planning is far more than for birth planning. Generally speaking, a couple might spend 18 months planning a wedding. They (o.k., the bride, and maybe her mother) agonise over the guest list, the location, The Dress, shoes, seating arrangements, food, flowers, photography…
By comparison, generally speaking, during the third trimester of pregnancy, women start thinking about the birth. The amount of planning that goes into it varies, of course. Antenatal appointments allow you a few minutes to ask questions, and well meaning friends and family might offer some advice or anecdotes…but it seems rare for a woman to spend as much energy (and money) on birth planning as she might on wedding planning.
But what about Beyond the Big Day…
It is important for the couple to make time uninterrupted to discuss their marriage. This means talking about values, future plans (careers, babies, travel, pets), and any other personal matters that crop up…
Just as wedding planning tends to focus on the wedding day and not the marriage, birth planning often neglects the parenting that will follow and can leave the new parents feeling shell shocked and overwhelmed.
Birth Cartography helps you prepare for the birth AND parenting. Your pregnancy (or beforehand as parents-in-waiting) is the time to discuss beyond the Big Day.
- How will your life change?
- What are your expectations? your values? your hopes? future plans?
- How will your finances cope (do you need two incomes)?
- What parenting style do you think you will have?
- What assumptions do you have about parenting (mothering and fathering)?
- How were you parented?
- What have you observed in others and thought “I will never do that’?
- What are your assumptions about daycare or education?
…there is lots to discuss.
find out about Birth Cartography
see also:
Let’s talk about sex (after) baby
Parenthood is like Swimming in the Ocean
Preventing Post Natal Anxiety and Depression