Self care according to Dave

Self Care they cry, is what you need – Pinterest and instragram show you how

And if what Dave* says is true, self care means I should be pampered now!

I should watch a funny movie with snacks all night long, for laughter is good

Then he promptly says I need more sleep – so which is it that I Should?

He goes on to say I should  treat myself to a shiny gem and ‘hit the jewelry store’

And adorning myself with healing crystals is what self care is for!

And Dave should know, as he writes for women, all about self care

For he is a ‘money man’ with a wife and kids and obvious time to spare.

He also says that caring for others is  ‘certainly commendable’

A statement that I think is quite un-defendable

He implies that caring is a choice, and not always altruistic

And that self care is nothing more than pampering logistic

But I say: Only men get gold stars when caring for others

For, it is essential work, for those of us that are Mothers.

To reduce self care to pampering and retail therapising

Is condescending and equates to self- minimising

To care for ones self means to acknowledge the depths of your soul

To demand to be seen and heard, to be treated as a whole

To know yourself and your rhythms as they change with month and season

To tackle each day with honour, love and reason

To go deeper than the superficial and the bread crumbs of gratitude

To rise in your full power with an Awesome Attitude!

*This post was also ‘inspired’ by a ‘self care’ post that made me cringe.  I’d like to think it meant well, but the cynic in me felt it was condescending and quite frankly mansplaining. The article was focused on self care as pampering and retail therapy type behaviours,  it was actually unhelpful and ignorant of reality.  I am surprise how many women are cheering the post on.  If you are interested in self care, in a real and deep way, Hollie B from the Institute of Self Crafting can take you there.


The following is an excerpt from a post on my website exploring what self care really means, and how we can achieve it in this modern world.  Read the full post here (with heaps of awesome links to smash the delusion and claim your power).

woman s face on white liquid
Photo by Bennie Lukas Bester on

It is time for a reset.  To change the perspective.  To rethink this modern life.  And to define Self Care.  ‘Self Care’ is such a buzz word right now. Pinterest and Instagram edit out the housework and make self care look like a better storage unit and milk bath.  It has been corrupted and confused, disempowered and appropriated by people who seem afraid to look deep into themselves.  We are being sold the idea that a piece of chocolate, a new shiny thing and a bath are self care.  Self Care = Pampering (if you believe the hype).

But self care, is about self acknowledgement.  It is about identity and expression, being heard and respected.  Self care is about being confident enough to demand it.  To value yourself, because you are awesome, and to stop apologising for taking up space.

Self care is about honouring yourself; nourishing yourself with healthy food, sunshine and movement.  Taking time to rest and follow your rhythms.

As a woman, you have monthly rhythms you can tune into, seasonal rhythms and daily rhythms.  Working with these will energise you and strengthen your instinct.  (see the Hollie B link above for more on how to reclaim this power).  The housework still needs to be done.  This can be drudgery or it can become part of your rhythm.  This isn’t about becoming a ‘domestic goddess’, this is about acknowledging the daily tasks and creating time and space to honour yourself and your talents.  Self care can not be achieved through pampering and ‘retail therapy’.  

2 thoughts on “Self care according to Dave”

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