Swimming in grief

A wave of grief washed over me,

Pulling me down.

I could not breathe.

I flipped between trying to breathe, desperately

And wanting to peacefully slip away,

I was trapped between not living and unable to die

Not wanting either.

Desperately wanting both.

Spinning in the grief zone,

Consumed and overwhelmed,

Clawing my way back,

Then allowing it to take me down.

 

And then it passes.

 

I rise, spluttering.

Above water.

Breathing freely.

Seeing clearly.

Alive again.