Would you rather stand aside, or stand up?

 Full Cream asks Won’t Somebody Think of the Fathers!
And raises some excellent points, relevant not just to breastfeeding, but also to birth – and life in general.  Women are consistently expected to step aside, to accommodate the needs of others – in this case, the father.  The blog post was a response to an article written on a major ‘news site’.

Last year I wrote about fear and belief dictating choices, and the problem when this dictation comes from the partner.  in this case it is not selfishness, as full cream is addressing, but ‘protector’ behaviour, that usually stems from mistaken feelings of ownership over a partner and her choices.In both cases, the partner fails to be a supporter.  [His] needs and feelings, beliefs and fears, overide the reality.  The biological importance of the mother-baby dyad is pushed aside as irrelevant or dispensable, and this is NOT ok.

It is not just ‘protective’ or self-interested partners making decisions for us, the Australian Medical Association (AMA) does this too: 

Carolyn Hastie of ThinkBirth, calls out the AMA on the matter of Birthing in the Bush. This is a matter close to my heart – rural and remote women are robbed of choices.  Birth before arrival is a very real possibility and continuity of care (let alone of carer) is a pipe dream.


​​When we stand aside, and allow others to make decisions for us, there is a very high chance that those decisions will not be in our best interest (as we see above).  The person or organisation we entrust our decision making to will have bias.  If you are handing over your power – you want that person to share your bias.
​But why hand over your power, when you can stand up and assert yourself?

read in full here (there is more about gratitude)


1 thought on “Would you rather stand aside, or stand up?”

  1. Pingback: Diplomacy, politeness and the underlying threat – Beautiful Heart

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